Sneeze Leech

While most folks attribute the common sneeze to allergies, pepper, or even staring into a bright sky, any educated medical professional will tell you it's actually the work of a Sneeze Leech.

Sneeze Leeches are slimy little wormlings that dwell comfortably in the nasal passages of their hosts. They dine on grody nose particles and wash them down with mucus juice.

Once this noodly nose nosher has cleared the sinuses of "food", it moves southward to the nostril. It is here that any small irritation will send the Sneeze Leech airborne — adrift on nose wind until it lands upon the next hapless victim.

Gorillas in the Mint

Quietly sifting the fresh mint leaves for grubs and bananas, this roving band of precious primates has taken root here in Chauceville — capturing the hearts of a community ... well, most of a community.

"I don't care how precious these primates are — they need to stay out of my herb garden," demands Edna Frum, old crone and avid gardener. "They just showed up one day, and then the news crews — and then some weirdo woman always following them around studying them. Have the laws on private property been thrown out the window? Is Chauceville under monkey law? If they step in my rosemary one more time I'm gonna break out my recipe for gorilla stir fry!"

You can see the gorillas in the Sweebs district at 2043 Fleens Lane (the small yellow house with the raving oldie out front).

Coning

Traditionally known as The Ceremony of the Creamery Throw, Coning is a rite of passage for every village neevling in Chauceville.

On the first Monday of their 7th birthmonth, the neevling-to-be-coned's friends and relatives gather to dip their crispy projectiles in the flavors of youthful passion: Wonderment, Curiosity, Mischief, and Nonsense. Then, when the sun peeks over the horizon like a radiant ball of lemon sherbert, the Chaucevillian neevling "comes-of-age" as he is pelted with the ceremonial creamery.

Dr. Cobb: Worm Surgeon

Cashing in on the latest trend to seep into the soil of the image obsessed worm, Dr. Quiggs Cobb is performing twenty to thirty segment extensions a week.

"Business is booming," exclaims the sleepless surgeon, just back from post-op. "I don't want to characterize these squiggly little dirt dwellers as vain, after all they're my bread and butter, but the demand for this purely cosmetic surgery has reached loony proportions. Just yesterday I put 46 segments on an earthworm from Leems County — they're really into length over there."

And speaking of length, the line of satisfied customers wraps around the block.

"I love my new segments," remarks Pebbles Mudlove, fashion model and veteran runway worm. "I owe last week's Roasty's Sunscreen modeling gig to the newly beautiful radiance of extensions 17 through 23 — I'm sure of it!."

Interested worms should contact the office of Doctor Quiggs Cobb at 1-800-ADD-WORM.

Soft Knocker

If you've ever wondered whether or not you just heard a knock at the door, but didn't go check because you figured no one would be dropping by, then it's likely you were payed a visit by the Soft Knocker.

The Soft Knocker has no reason for gracing your doorstep. He has nothing to tell you — not even "Hello". He just likes to wrap his little knuckles at the perfect volume so that you'll think you heard a knock but weren't convinced enough to find out. Apparently he derives some sort of pleasure from this weird activity.

Le Lone Pea

Arguably the most romantic spot in Chauceville, Le Lone Pea Bistro is the place to be when you're in love.

But don't expect to gain any weight there — this cozy little cafe doesn't serve a dish over 3 calories.