Scampion

You'd be well advised to watch yourself around that succulent shrimp cocktail this summer season — you may end up grabbing the business end of a Scampion.

If you are unfortunate enough to get stung by one of these 6 legged morsels, just rub some tartar sauce on the wound. It'll lessen the swelling.

Jinjanji

The Jinjanji are jungle mystics. They are strange and secretive rainforest yogi that warble their prayer hoots while practicing "Cheechawa", a tantric state of single finger balance.

But they don't start out that way.

Young Jinjanji are born at the level of Banana — a rudimentary phase where they learn basic hoot while practicing a single foot stance. From there the developing Jinjanji moves through stages of Kiwi, Guava, Guava with a yellow stripe, and Mango. Only when they reach the final level of Papaya are they able to master the complete muscular control necessary for Cheechawa.

Saber Toothed Rooster

Despite their overgrown beak barbs, Saber Toothed Roosters are relatively harmless farm foul. In fact, they use their enormous bicuspids for a rather delicate procedure.

Once the Saber Toothed Hen has laid her lone egg for the season, her male counterpart scoops it gently between his twin tusks. Aloft, it will incubate for 6 to 8 weeks before hatching into a finely feathered Saber Toothed Chick.

Oldie but Cutie

Inking a 6 figure deal with Chauceville Studios Infant TV this week, Oldie but Cutie is not only back, he's hotter than ever.

"Our audience just can't get enough of that round little face," states Executive Producer, Ula Tubeghoul. "It's the perfect combination of wrinkles and chub — a pale pink cinematic gold mine!"

Some parents, however, take issue with OBC's new found popularity.

"It's just plain weird," says mother of 9, Queems Frizzard. "A 95 year old imitating a toddler and prancing about in blue pajamas is cause for alarm, not celebration. He's using a cane for crying out loud!"

"We prefer to call it 'cute lil' leg stick'," remarks OBC's agent, Choils Bibswindle. "It's one of our biggest selling OBC accessories. And for a limited time, you can send in $9.95 plus 3 proofs of purchase and get yourself a free fuzzy heart patch!"

"Shipping not included."

Shark Bats

As a seemingly peaceful night falls across the land, the darkening skies shroud a stealthy danger. Shark Bats are on patrol!

Circling beneath the bright summer moon, these crafty hunters use cloud cover to surprise their fluttery prey the Chauce Moth.

Nearly blind, the Shark Bat has adapted special "hind-spots" that reflect starlight — helping to keep these razor-toothed roamers from devouring each other during Chauce Moth feeding frenzies.