Quack Snakes

Part serpent, part mallard, and 100 percent conniving, Quack Snakes are always on the look out for a crooked opportunity.

These feathery worms dwell on the dark side of the pond — preferring brackish weeds and mossy overgrowth to the tranquil waters of the lilypad shore. It is there that they find the sort of seedy inspiration needed for their duplicitous deeds.

The Yellowy Snedge

Deep in the sulfurous cracks of Quog's fuming fissure lives the goblinesque Yellowy Snedge.

The Snedge is a putrid little fellow with splotchy sulfur burned skin and a fat lip. He walks about with his hands tucked under his gut in a bizarre, slightly disturbing way.

Every Christmas eve the Snedge leaves his festering grotto to plunk sulphur chunks in the stockings of good little boys and girls. Then he paints a yellow splotch on the wall and leaves through the pet door.

Snuffles Bluebun

Today's topic:
Point/Counterpoint: Snuffles Bluebun, Cuteness Quotient

with guests
Pritmiss Feeves, Cuteness Enthusiast
Noil Sneet, Cuteness Critic for Cute Weekly

From Mr. Sneet:
"Snuffle's cuteness quotient conjures up only one word for me: contrived. Everything about this fuzzy little bunny is deliberate, from the claspy hand stance to the over-sized heart nose. Slapped together, store-bought cuteness went out with the likes of Sweet Sweet Cheench — nothing more than a name and some goofy taglines. Natural is the new era. Bamboolian puts this con-cutist to shame."

Counterpoint, Pritmiss:
"Snuffles Bluebun tops the scale at ten! I'm afraid to blink because I don't want to miss one millisecond of this adorable little bunny's cuddly activity. Mr. Sneet is just a mouthpiece for his magazine's corporate constituents. I subscribe to Cute Weekly and I think it's high time we got some real cuteness critiquing without the corporate sponsorship. Everyone knows the Bamboolian scratch-and-sniff doll is hitting the market in 3 days. It's marketed as part of the 'Signature Sneet Series'. He's not fooling anyone."

Prombies

It's Senior Prom at Undead High and the auditorium is packed like a morgue. Every grave has emptied for this special event.

As the King and Queen Prombies are crowned, the crowd groans with delight. Everyone knew it would be Johnny Rotbody, quarterback for the Undead Corpses and his girlfriend Ghoula Greenskin, head cheerleader.

When midnight approaches, things get a little crazy. Someone spiked the punch bowl with brains.

Floataphant

The pacadermish Floataphant frequents the crystal shallows of secretive Sneed's Lagoon.

Lumbering and heavy on land, this tongue trunked treader takes advantage of its natural buoyancy when adrift — tip-toeing along the sandy bottom to reach the oily olive skins above.

The succulent Sneed's Olive provides 95 percent of the Floataphant's fatty (the good kind), oil-rich diet.

Ungaba on the Beach

This little holiday snap was taken last summer out at Sandy Crack Bay.

Ungaba, much to the dismay of the other vacationers, went nude the entire trip.

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Zoom the nude.

The Shadow of Thadamus Pwee

Often told around the flickering flames of a crackling campfire, the story of the Shadow of Thadamus Pwee is a spooky tale that harbors all the trappings of a good ghost story.

Thadamus Pwee was a non-descript little neevling from a town much like yours. He was so non-descript, in fact, that he was difficult to notice. Pwee was ignored by his teachers, classmates, even his parents — and he was an only child!

So it was that over time, Thadamus faded into nothing more than a feathery wisp. But the more ghostly he became, the more his hatred and resentment grew.

Now he walks the streets of local villages, casting only a poison shadow of his festering rage — a last vestige of life, the sole substance left to block the light of the radiant day.

It is said that nothing can survive the Shadow of Thadamus Pwee. So beware when WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU!!!