Nutcase Acquitted!
Defense Successfully Argues Insanity Plea |
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Though notoriously difficult to prove, the Law Firm of and Pinniped, Walrus & Whale, triumphantly swayed the jury last Thursday in a gruesome case that has gripped all of Chauceville these past two months: The Nutcase Serial Cashewdicide Trial.
"The facts of the crime are nightmarish," stated prosecutor Overton Z. Ellis. "Nutcase brutally ate all of his contents. He didn't spare a single cashew and he hasn't shown one ounce of remorse."
"I slept... I mean wept, the entire time," admitted lead juror, Snoozy C. Quester, "but what other conclusion could we reach? After all, he is a complete nutcase."
In a related story, Pinniped, Walrus & Whale also successfully defended serial quacker Duck-a-Plenty using a similar plea — proving the weighty mallard was in reality a total Loon.
Look for them to defend Plantain in the Farm Fresh Fruit slayings. "Plantain is bananas," commented Short Orange Whale.
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